Never renovate a house with your spouse or you will get divorced.

I’ve been with my husband since the eve of my 17th birthday. That is 8 years of ups and downs, triumph and failures. Could this bus really be the demise of a relationship that has withstood 5 children, a realtionship that started with two very naive teenagers?

We have all heard it. Never, and they mean never, renovate or build a home with your spouse. If you do, it will be the cataclysmic pinnacle of your existence leading only down the path of inevitable separation from your beloved. Okay, that was a bit of an exaggeration but you understand what I am saying. Why is it that so many relationships are ended during the process of giving life to an idea? I honestly have no answer to that question. This bus, this idea, has solidified my marriage. When I told my husband I wanted to lay aside this life he has built, the home he has bought, for a bus he was obliging. Ethan didn’t look at me with discontent eyes and tell me all the things that could go wrong. He held my dream in his hand and with his blessing gave it life. In that moment I was never more vulnerable nor have I felt so loved.

Money. Most phycologists will tell you that the culminating  factor between divorce and renovations is money. I would be lying if I said that an argument about money has never graced the threshold of my abode. It has, on more occasions than I would like to admit. Is overhauling a metal tube almost the width of a basket ball court expensive? Simple answer, yes. How do we overcome this hurtle? By communicating till our faces are blue. I couldn’t tell you how many times Ethan and I have gone over the game plan. From what is the next step in the reno to what is will cost. Over and over we go. Cycle after cycle of how and how much. There have been surprise expenses and unbelievable savings but it contributes to the bottom line. Will the bottom dollar be the anchor to this ship of dreams or the weight tied around our feet?

8 years is nothing. When I met Ethan I was a self-absorbed brat looking to make my mark on the world. In my defense, so was he. We have overcome so much. From the baggage of young adulthood to having our subsequent children, Ethan and I have withstood. Our tree of life may look weathered but it roots run deep and branches spread long, engulfing all in its vicinity. Our love is tangible, it’s infectious. We have worked hard to be so in love. It is a triumph not a fluke. Are we perfect, no we are so far from perfect. But in our imperfect selves we are able to love one another imperfectly. This bus will be a life dream made into reality by two flawed people. It will mirror its makers. The only perfection this world knows was given by God so who are we to want to obtain it?

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”       Lao Tzu

 

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2 thoughts on “Never renovate a house with your spouse or you will get divorced.

  1. The fact that you’ve worked hard on your relationship should be your insurance that this skoolie conversion will not affect your bond. We started on our conversion after 7 years of marriage / 12 years of being together, and it totally brought us together. We are so much more in sync with each other because we gave our blood, sweat and tears into our home. I have no doubt that will happen to you – especially since your husband cradled your dream so lovingly!

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